On a Sunday, I can make it to church in about 25 minutes. Clearly, my church isn't right next door. But the drive is worth it, especially on the way home when we get to hear the end of NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me and the beginning of A Prairie Home Companion.
Camden, who is full-on into being a tween at 12, sits beside me. Today we are later than usual, so we've missed the Lightning Fill in the Blank on Wait, Wait. (drat!) We're right on time, though, for a joke segment on Garrison Keillor's show where Cowboy Garrison and a buddy are having a dinner of beans by the fire when they are approached by Big Messer and Spike. Spike, it seems, has been told that the cowboys have been saying terrible things about him. Horrible, nasty stuff.
Here are a few of our faves that they allegedly said:
You said I was so ugly I look like I've been bobbin' for french fries.
I heard tell you were tellin' people that when I sit on the beach, cats try to bury me.
You told them I was so dumb it took me an hour to cook Minute Rice.
They said you said that whenever I walk past the bathroom the toilet flushes.
The two pairs wind up being friends because the newbies bring new jokes and news that the internet is available near the telegraph lines:
The only thing attracted to you is the force of gravity.
When you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, they have to install a speed bump.
Nothing like hearing a few insulting jokes on your way home from church to round out the day, huh?
Love it--My husband and I listen to Prairie Home Companion whenever we travel. For Christmas I bought him a CD so that if we can't find PHC on the radio we can listen anyway. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteMy dad has always listened to Prairie Home Companion. Several years ago we actually saw Prairie Home Companion and Garrison Keillor at Purdue University! So funny! Thanks for sharing your favorite insults! They made me laugh! :)
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