Monday, July 25, 2016

Healing at Hatteras

Curt's mother passed away Thursday night, very well near midnight. On Friday morning his dad told him we should go ahead with our annual plans to vacation on Hatteras Island. I don't think Curt thought more than twice about it. He needed this time away from what has been a stress-filled year of being a son as well as a health care worker. Since September, he and his sister have shared the work of taking care of their mom, granting her wish to live in her home even if she couldn't control her circumstances.  This long year was made not only bearable for my husband but also blessed by God's grace. 

So we are here, in the village where we've spent seven summer days for the past nine years.

~ Where dear friends Jack and Lois found years of summer solitude and then shared it with us.

~ Where our boys have grown up learning to read low tides and high tides and rip currents and cable TV guides.

~ Where seashells of all sizes are counted as treasure.

~ Where Vicki of Harbor House Seafood ensures that we feast on the finest shrimp and fish and hushpuppies of the year.

~ Where a 4-wheel-drive truck will get you and your chairs, umbrellas, cooler, boogie boards, and fishing poles to the remote beaches.

~ Where the deck chairs and ocean view actually increase your reading rate.

~ Where the sea breeze makes the humidity feel OK.

 ~ Where the only stoplight is for ferry traffic.

~ Where "no shirt, no shoes, no problem" is an actual sign in some shops.

~ Where salt-watery air heals wounds.

~ Where God's imagination is visible in the waves crashing on the shore and the sun setting on the sound and the smooth purple seashells found on the sands.



~ Where heart healing can begin in a land miles away from home, even when your mother is no longer there. 

Saturday, July 16, 2016

No words, but I can't stay silent



  
I am sad. 

These past days I have been silent on the shootings that have rocked America.
I have struggled to find words.
I have cried while reading the morning paper.
I have fumed while reading Facebook.
I have buried my head in the sand thinking that if I say nothing it'll be OK. 

But it's not.

I grieve for my black friends, for police officers, for my hometown, for America. 
I grieve for a country that emancipated slaves more than a century ago and still hasn't figured out how to live and love together. 
I grieve that here in Roanoke, Virginia, I have precious few friends who don't look like me.

Since we moved back home, to Roanoke, I have longed for the diversity that surrounded me when we lived in Connecticut. There, at a small Christian school where I taught and the boys attended, we were the minority. When Camden sang in the middle school chorus, he was a pasty white face in a sea of browns. In second grade, when Benjy said "asked", he pronounced it "axed". And it was OK. It was beautiful. 



Here, we live in a town largely segregated by the train tracks that traverse our city and the mid-century urban renewal projects that further divided us. 
Black to the north. White to the south.
I grieve that.

And now I'm left with no words. 
My thoughts are a jumble of hurt and dismay. 
I don't want to be a noisy gong, but I want to tell my friends and students that I love them, and they matter. 
Their lives matter. 


Maybe I just need to revisit the 2nd graders I had a few years ago. Revisit their smiling faces and the dreams they had. And pray that their dreams will be fulfilled. 




"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
-- Isaiah 41:10