Summer.

Ah, what a sweet, sweet word.



Well, if you're a teacher, that is.



Here is a list, in no particular order, of things I love about summer vacation.



1. Staying up till midnight. Then reading my Bible, followed by my latest novel till 1.



2. Waking up at 6 a.m. and rolling over and going back to sleep. Till 9.



3. Getting up at 9 and staying in my pajamas (pronounced pa-JAM-es) till whenever I dingdang feel like not wearing them.



4. Knowing that every day is Friday.



5. Oh, yeah, playing with the Wild Things! This includes, but is not limited to,

building Lego castles,
swimming in the redneck pool out back,
reading (yes, I make them read.),
frog-catching at the park,
making brownies,
making banana bread,
making pizzas,
eating,
going to the library,
snuggling.

6. Taking a nap with Emmalemmalimabean. (She's my dog, people.)



7. Going to the bathroom when the mood hits. Seriously, one of the few drawbacks of being a teacher is peeing on a schedule.



8. Checking Facebook whenever I want.



9. Planning the annual Hatteras Island vaca.



10. Shall I watch Fox News or Rachel Rae?

I am a recent reader of Vodkamom's blog. No, I don't drink vodka, but I do like the vodka mom's blog. She's a teacher and is quite hilarious in that teacherly way. I dare say, this lady does not wear seasonal sweaters and sensible shoes. Well, maybe comfy shoes.

Anywho, she likes The Queen's Meme blog, so I clicked on it and discovered a meme!!!!!!! Imagine that! A meme is, technically, a cultural unit (an idea or value or pattern of behavior) that is passed from one person to another by non-genetic means (as by imitation); memes are the cultural counterpart of genes.

In layman's terms, it's a fill-in-the-blank.

Welcome To The Queen's Meme #45
The What Would You Do? Meme

A mixed bag of miscellaneous scenarios

1. You start out on your road trip. You are 90 miles down the road with not a care in the world until you remember you forgot the most important ingredient needed for your vacation. What was it and would you turn around and go back to get it?

Ummmm, it was probably my hair dryer. And I would most definitely NOT waste 90 miles home and 90 miles back again - that's 180 miles wasted - when I KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that there will be a Wal-Mart somewhere nearby and I can just buy one. I'm sure I could use an extra hair dryer anyway.

2. You are standing in the checkout line at the grocery store. A homeless man walks by and asks for food from your grocery cart. What would you do?

I'd give him some food. "If you have two coats, give one away," he said. "Do the same with your food." Luke 3:11

3. The mailman delivers the wrong mail. It is your neighbor's. You can't stand your neighbor. You realize that inside the small brown package there must be something very secretive, very intriguing and possibly incriminating. What do you do?

I'd give it to the neighbor. Keeping it is stealing. And that's just not right. Reap what you sow and all that jazz.

4. Photography Class 101. First exam. The slide show you are presenting is the wrong one. You accidentally left last weekend's party pics in the camera instead. The whole class is watching....

For starters, although I was not a perfect college kid, I was not THAT bad. I partied a bit. I got more than buzzed on a few occasions. My mom even forced me to go to church and then endure a drive through the valley on mornings after. Yeah, she was that mean. :) But I wasn't THAT bad. Still, if this happened, which according to meme rules, I am to pretend it did, I would probably fake illness, beg out of class, and finish the show next week. Then again, I'm a terrible liar. I'd most def confess that I have the wrong pictures, plead for a chance to sprint to my dorm and get the right ones, and return to finish the exam. The professor would have to appreciate my situation, no???

5. You find your boss's wife on Facebook. She is obviously carrying on with another man in blatant fashion and behind his back. What is the first thing that pops into your head when you see your boss the next day at work?

Well, obviously, I would remember the FB debacle. DUHHHHHHHHHHHHH. But I would N.E.V.E.R. say a peep. I'm the queen of decorum. And decorum requires shushness. It's not my business.

6. Your plane lands in the wrong vacation spot but you like this one better.

Does that mean I have to tell???? Technically, I guess I do. Considering how I need to get back home and all. This is a no-brainer. Enjoy the stay till I get where I belong.

7. You walk out of the doctor's office. The news after your yearly checkup is very very good but the news for the person you'd been sitting beside and chatting with in the waiting room is very very bad. You see them in the elevator on the way out and they are in tears. You.....

Yikes! I am horrible at knowing what to say. Frankly, I'd pray. God will give me the words. I cannot even predict what those would be. I just know He'd provide.

And there you have it. My first meme response in a waaaaaaaaay long time.
I think I'll play this game again!

Is anybody out there thinking, "GET RID OF NINA!"????? If you're watching HGTV's Design Star, then you probably are. Because Nina is, well, not so much my favorite girl on earth.

And there you go. In the time it took me to type the first paragraph, Nina is GONE. Say it with me, G.O.N.E.!!!!!!!

In other news, we're home from our inaugural camping trip in Viv (the camper). She did great, and we're so proud. Her abundance of Wendi-covered pillows came in handy, even if Eaglescout found them tossed all over the place by the time we parked at the camp site. I tell you, the way to camp is most def in a camper with air conditioning, a toilet, shower, and electricity. There is simply no other way.

OK, more later when I upload some pictures. See you on FB!

An open letter to my GPS:

Dear Tom Tom,

We had such a lovely drive to West Hartford today. You took us straight to our destination. We traded the clarinet for the trumpet and signed up for lessons. Because every new trumpet player needs lessons. More on this at a later date. When my ears have recovered.


I was so happy with your performance, your lead, your lovely way off the beaten path. My favorite part of you is the screen that says "avoid freeways". I no like freeways.









Your path through Bloomfield to the urban center of West Hartford was pristine, sweet, life in the country. Well, I didn't quite see this, but the houses we did see once sat on this land. Of that I am sure.

And then we arrived.

West Hartford is to me what New York City is to urbanites. It's a mecca of shops, restaurants, on-street parking, and fancy crosswalk signals with sound effects.

I was in a panic. Where do I park? What if I hit someone? Where are the house numbers on these dingdang stores? Oh, please don't let our destination be on the wrong side of the road.

Our destination was on the wrong side of the road. Nonetheless, Tom Tom, it's not your fault.



I was feeling absolutely giddy with our journey across the road and back. I even arrived at the parking meter within SECONDS of the expiration tag popping up. Talk about karma. The boys and I buckled in and set you for the drive back home.

"Avoid freeways."
(which loosely translates "avoid humanity")

Your Aussie self chirped to turn left, then turn right, then bear this way and then that. Go 200 yards, because we aren't willing to go metric till the rest of the country goes first.







I grew a little curious when you didn't turn me around, have me backtrack my path, turn toward the country.





I was perplexed when I saw this. And not a drop from the sky.






And passed these people crossing the street. How do they do that? Cross in broad daylight in their yoga pants?




I grew concerned when I passed this. I don't recall this in Bloomfield.
I know this to be the Hartford capital. This is most def not in Bloomfield.








And while you could have taken me by this lovely vista, you didn't.
Instead, you chose the path with the most bars on the windows, the most pedestrians walking in the MIDDLE OF THE DOGGONE ROAD, the most construction delays EVER.

I think I waved at 13 policemen on a single drive. They all waved back. Poor men. I guess very few drivers give them the time of day. It was 3:40. And 3:50. And 4:00. And 4:10. And 4:20.


There was only one thing left to do when we finally arrived at home.










While you didn't know the way to the other side of the galaxy, I certainly did.



So that's where I went. Sans you.