ONE

Spending the last week of 2005 thinking about how I've lived my life and how I plan to live it next year. When reading Ali Edwards' blog I discovered ONE.org. Please visit and watch the video, read their mission, SIGN THEIR DECLARATION. You, too, can help fight poverty. One person at a time.

Things that are making me happy

* Camden is still going through his big bag of goodies he brought home from school after his Christmas party. He's been pinning his art up all over my bulletin board. These pieces make me so darn happy. * Although I've been taking down a few decorations, I can't part with some of my lights. These are among my favorites - the little Christmas tree with the button and rag ribbon garland I made, and my basket of primitive stuffed hearts and pillows. * Benjy went to the potty TWICE today! * hot green tea with lemon and ginger * sleeping on flannel sheets * cleaning up, tossing out, recycling junk - trying to SIMPLIFY * my friend Linda's gingerbread candles * bear hugs from my boys

The Day After

Time to start thinking about the new year. About resolutions. About change.
But first, I must think about today. The day after Christmas. All that hope, anticipation, magic, all gone. In the time it took Camden and Benjy to tear through their gifts, it was gone. Left behind - the wrappings, the boxes, even a couple of bows (even though I'd given up on using bows on my own packages years ago). All that work, all the decorating, the baking, the WAITING, and now it's gone.

The day after Christmas has always been sort of a let-down, I'm sorry to admit that, but that's the feeling year after year. I put so much effort into making the holiday perfect. One of remembering, of reverence, of magic. And in one swift moment, it's gone. I think I've finally learned my lesson. It's time to take the effort out of MAKING the magic. It's time to start letting the magic happen. It will. If I just let it. So, when I make my new year's resolutions this week, one of them will be to KEEP IT SIMPLE. Let the magic happen on its own. Live in the moment. Enjoy it. Just LET IT HAPPEN.

Merry Day After Christmas

I can't say it any better than this....

I found this quote on Ali Edwards' blog. Loved it. Love what it says about changing, growing, living, and joy. Love how it focuses on what Christmas means beyond all the presents and trappings. I guess the kid version of this quote would be the Grinch story. But Sister Joan has taken all the feeling, all the soul, all the pure joy of the little Whos and put it into words. Her words are beautiful, and this quote is worth reading and living each day.

Christmas is a strange season. When you're a child, it is a season of presents. When you're young, it's a season of parties. When you get your own home, it's a season of preparations. But when you get older, Christmas changes color drastically. Suddenly, out from behind the advertisements and big dinners, through the haze of old carols and soft candles, past the dazzling altars and sumptuous crib scenes, we begin to see what Christmas is really all about. Christmas is about finding life where we did not expect it to be. Every year of life waxes and wanes. Every stage of life comes and goes. Every facet of life is born and then dies. Every good moment is doomed to become only a memory. Every perfect period of living slips through our fingers and disappears. Every hope dims and every possibility turns eventually to dry clay. Until Christmas comes again. Then we are called at the deepest, most subconscious, least cognizant level to begin to live again. Christmas brings us all back to the crib of life to start over: aware of what has gone before, conscious that nothing can last, but full of hope that this time, finally, we can learn what it takes to live well, grow to full stature of soul and spirit, get it right. There is a child in each of us waiting to be born again. It is to those looking for life that the figure of the Christ, a child, beckons. Christmas is not for children. It is for those who refuse to give up and grow old, for those to whom life comes newly and with purpose each and every day, for those who can let yesterday go so that life can be full of new possibility always, for those who are agitated with newness whatever their age. Life is for the living, for those in whom Christmas is a feast without finish, a celebration of the constancy of change, a call to being once more the journey to human joy and holy meaning. ( Sister Joan D. Chittister )



And finally, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE!!! We went to the Children's Service and Holy Communion at 4 o'clock today. Beautiful service, and such a meaningful sermon. It was given to the kids, but was really for us all. It was all about accepting the gift Jesus offers us. Perfect. That's what Christmas is all about. Of course, it's also about The Christmas Story and its appearance for 24 straight hours each year starting at 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve. We're watching it right now. We'll be watching it on and off for hours tonight. We'll watch it tomorrow. Basically, our TV will be tuned to TBS for the next 24 hours. I just love the sound of this movie. Now it's really Christmastime. :)

This makes me happy

I fell in love with this freebie digi scrapbook kit I found on Scrapbook Bytes' latest newsletter. It's from Dawn Stocstill - don't you just love the colors? The doodles are from the creative team at Digital Design Essentials. Every week this month you can download a set of 'em for free. LOVE these!!!

Yesterday I got everything wrapped and under the tree. Bummer on the post office, though. I just didn't make it. So I'll put Curt up to it tomorrow. Some things will arrive late, but it's the thought that counts, right?!

Also talked to Kristen - hey girlie!!! I'm thinking of you!!! (Isn't it good to know that somebody does? hehehe)

OK, I'm outta here. Too tired to reflect any more.

Christmas traditions

Today I'm thinking about family and what made Christmases so special when I was a kid. I remember how we always drove around looking at the Christmas lights after the Christmas Eve church service. I remember how we would sit up late and watch the Johnny Carson show where Doc Severenson and the NBC Orchestra played Christmas tunes and I was sad that Johnny didn't talk or tell any jokes. (How I'd love to catch a rerun of that Christmas Eve special now.) I remember how Grandmomma Stapleton stayed the night with us and how my sister and I would knock on the adjoining wall in the mornings and she'd knock back, then we'd tiptoe into the guest room and climb into bed with Grandmomma and be happy that Christmas Day was finally here. I remember how my sister and I would "rearrange" the gifts under the tree every night for days before Christmas. We said we were "rearranging" them, but truly, we were counting them and making sure no one was getting cheated! I remember the stockings. The stockings are still my favorite part of Christmas at Mom and Dad's. Santa can stuff a stocking like nobody's business!!! I remember how I'd take my Christmas haul to my room and spread it out on my twin bed. One year I got a camera for Christmas and I took a picture of my gifts. I was so proud. I remember the smell of Barbie plastic, new crayons, Grandmomma's peanutbutter pinwheels, and candles. I remember Mom's little tree she decorated and put on the TV console in the living room. I have that tree now and it sits on the trunk in front of the window in the study. I remember hearing Santa shout Ho Ho Ho one night, the buzz of family visiting, the laugh of Daddy when we asked where Casper was that Christmas. (Casper was the ghost/son only he could see. :) ) Memories. I'm glad I took the time to remember them today.
Merry Christmas.

Today was the Christmas pageant at church. Camden was a sheep. Benjy started out as a mouse, then a sheep, then in the nursery where he was truly happier. Maybe next year he'll stick around for the show. I was so excited for Camden, though. He remebered his last pageant when he was three at Mrs. Griffin's preschool. He was convinced that because he'd been in that then he'd be able to handle his part in this one. "I want to be Jesus," he told me. "Well, Jesus will be a little baby," I said. "Then I want to be an angel. They have boy angels, too." Yes, Camden, they do. He changed his mind by the time he saw the cute sheep costume and decided he was better cut out to baaaaa than look angelic. :)

After the pageant he had to sit with me for an inordinate amount of time for a five year old like Camden. He fussed, wiggled, and grumbled. Eventually he settled down and even cuddled up beside me, convinced that he'd better just get used to it. By the time we returned from Communion and kneeled down to pray, he was asking me if it was ok to talk to God about Star Wars. I told him God is listening. He could talk about anything. Somehow, I think even God must like Star Wars. That Yoda is just too cute.

Merry Christmas

I'm so sick of hearing people gripe about being told "Merry Christmas"! Come on, people!!!!! Just exactly what holiday do we celebrate on Dec. 25 anyway? Yes, Santa has become an all-too-big part of it, but Santa would have no special day if not for Jesus. The other day I heard some lady moaning about how the local McDonald's had a sign up that said "Jesus is the Reason for the Season." "bla bla bla...it just doesn't include everyone...bla bla bla" Well, it's the birthday of Jesus Christ, lady. Just who all should be included on his special day???!!! I could go on, but I'll just end this post with a hearty MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!"

My list

Here's my digital layout that I did for my art journal tonight. I bought this awesome page kit from Scrapbook Bytes. LOVE the colors and that awesome tree.

My list...
It's getting shorter! Got most of the shopping done. I've talked to Santa and taken care of that end. I do still need to wrap presents, copy pictures for the cards, send the cards, cook for the neighborhood party on Friday night, and take lots of deep breaths. I've realized that I need to keep it simple. (Too late, yes, but I can start trying now, can't I?) Christmas needs to be about family, the art of giving, the power of Jesus in our lives. Yes, the toys will interfere, and the racket that accompanies Christmas morning will wear and tear on our nerves. But in the end we'll be a family, together, feeling joy, swimming in it, loving each other to the moon and back.

I've been MIA...

There's a good reason I've been missing since my last post. Curt came home on Friday!!!!! Although he's leaving on Tuesday to go back for more CAT duty, it's been such a wonderful blessing having him home. We just feel so, oh I don't know, COMPLETE with him here. The way our family is meant to be. I am positively dreading Tuesday, but there's nothing he nor I can do about it, so off he will go until Christmas-time, and then he's back. I pray for good.

Check out these pictures of the boys today - all my boys! Camden and Benjy played in the snow (we must have had at least 6 inches the other day plus another inch today). Then they had some snow cream and hot cocoa when they came in. Benjy always wants to bang his cup against ours and say "cheers" when he drinks. Then, later in the day, the boys decided to play Star Wars Play Station and have some popcorn. A definite Kodak moment!




Here's our brand spankin' new Christmas tree - ARTIFICIAL! It's the first artificial tree Curt and I have ever had. We've always loved real trees - their smell, choosing the perfect one, watching the branches fall into exactly the right places. But this year we decided to go artificial for a number of reasons. Fake trees don't need water, which Emma would steal anyway. They may not have that fresh tree scent, but they don't drop their needles either, which means I vacuum one day less than I ordinarily would. :) Fake tress cost less over the long run. We easily paid $50-$70 for a fraser fur EACH year but paid $140 (on sale) for this one. And it'll easily last for many years. So, while I miss the fun of going on the Christmas Tree Hunt and the smell of fresh pine that goes with it, I'm so happy to not have to water the tree two times a day, chase Emma from the water bowl, worry that the boys will somehow trip up the water bowl, and vacuum up the mess the needles make. I love our new tree. :)

Car Wash

Man, did my van need washing! Took it today and paid eight bucks to drive it through one of those fancy automatic car washes that even blows the car dry. The spray took all the road salt off and nearly took the snow "painted" Christmas tree and M's (courtesy of Missy the prankster from work). I felt like I had better gas milage once I drove outta there!

After the car wash, I went to get my hair cut. Didn't have time for that, but did have time to find this awesome sweater! Lamb's wool. I loved it so much that I scanned it, softened it, and printed it out for my December art journal. Love the reds and grays together.

Emma's view on life

I should be embarassed to show this, but what the heck. This is my naughty naughty bad dog, Emma. She's on the kitchen table, eating the leftovers. I was so fed up with her that all I could do was just take pictures and sigh. Yup, this is my dog.

I found this quote on Ali Edwards' blog...

Anna Quindlen : ...but the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three on them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4, and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in a hurry to get on to the next things: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Wow. Now that is inspiration. I've spent the entire weekend and today fretting about lists, things to do, taking care of every body and everything. And I've truly not spent much time just LIVING. So, who cares of the Christmas shopping doesn't get done as well as I'd like it? I shouldn't. It's not about the gifts anyway. Who cares if the Legos are in the floor AGAIN? I shouldn't. They'll just wind up back on the carpet anyway. It's time to quit complaining and start LIVING.

Why?

What a day.
It started out so wonderfully. The boys let me sleep till 7:40 a.m.! And Ellie didn't want out a minute before that. :)
I drank coffee. The boys played and watched cartoons. Camden even read the paper with me. Then we went to Target where we had lunch (hot dogs and salad) and came home where Benjy had a nap while Camden played in our dusting of snow. All was well. I created, working on my Christmas journal a bit. Camden played Star Wars, making cool light sabers with the Duplo Legos. Benjy woke up happy and ready to "talk" about Star Wars. Then, suddenly, after baths and before dinner, I lost it. I just flipped. I couldn't help it, but every little noise just set me off. Every little fuss from Benjamin. Every little silly sound from Camden. Every little thing I couldn't control just set me on the end of my nerves. I just lost it. I cried and cried. The heavy sobbing kind of cry. I lost it. Camden said he knew what would help, and he hugged me. He got up from his chair and said, "I know what would help you feel better." It was such a beautiful hug. Just the thing you would do to help someone in need. That really turned it around for me. Camden truly knows how to comfort people. He may act like an insane clown sometimes. But he knows. He knows how to love. I love my family, and I am so thankful for them. :) Thanks be to God.

Camden - "I love you way way way way way way way way way past all the moons, past past past past past past past past the suns, past the asteroid belts, past the planets. to infinity and beyond!

Mom - "I love you more than that!

Camden - "I love YOU more than that!

Mom - "ditto"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Christmas cards

I made nearly 40 Christmas cards since last night. So exciting to get them started! I'm loving this paper from Basic Grey. I used all mine up, so I cannot wait till my Mosh Posh order comes and replenishes my stock!
I totally hate to admit this, but doing Christmas cards can be such a bother, it seems. I wish I didn't feel that way. I don't feel that way when I'm CREATING them. It's only when I have to sign them, address them, stamp them, and mail them. It feels like we're always so rushed. And I HATE to get cards with only a name and no personal note, so feel like I need to add a little note to each of mine. Last year we got our cards out on Christmas Eve. And even then we had no return addresses on them. Lazy, huh? The thing I am almost looking forward to this year, though, is getting a Christmas picture of the boys. I say ALMOST because they're just at that uncooperative age where expecting both of them to smile AND look at the camera at the EXACT SAME TIME is futile. I'm not even gonna bother with the mall people. I'll just do it myself. At least I'll be spared the humiliation, if not the frustration. Still, I love seeing how Benjy and Camden act together. Benjamin loves to laugh at Camden and copy everything his big brother does. He so cracks me up! And Camden will do anything to keep Benjy in stitches, to the point of annoying me to death. Still, I know he loves his baby brother. Perhaps tomorrow would be a good day for that picture....

Peace on Earth, goodwill to men.

It's Christmas time. That means many things for me. Not only is this a season full of Santa, Ho Ho Ho, sweets, and children buzzed with excitement, but it also is packed with stress, worries, cranky kids, and exhaustion. While I try to keep the spirit of Christmas alive in me and my family, I find myself challenged to find a balance at this time each year, to find peace. When at my wit's end, here's where I can find it.
* Church - The place itself with its beautiful and inspiring stained glass windows, the liturgy and everpresent reminder that Jesus loves each of us, the people who, like me, are looking for a sense of peace and hope.
* Blue Christmas tree lights. These will always remind me of the tree lights we had growing up. The big fat blue lights that grew hot to the touch. The ones that had a certain "hot" smell. These were the true color of Christmas for me.
* Christmas music - Favorites are the sountrack for CBS' Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas.
* Watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
* Snow - lots of it. The more the better. Just watching the snow is so darn relaxing.
* Creating - not necessarily scrapbooking, but just CREATING anything.
* Licking the bowl of Mom's chocolate poundcake mix. Yummmm!
* Sitting in my favorite rocker by the window in my bedroom reading. Just reading and watching the sun shine outside.
* Hot bubble baths
* Lots of candles
* Finally, but certainly not least important - prayer

What will I be doing in December?

I cannot wait to SCRAP! Here's a peek at the kits I'll receive next month. Actually, there's another one, too, but the picture isn't up on their website yet. Yep, I'm going to be scrapping like mad. My favorite kits are coming from 3 Scrappy Boys, Scraptivity, and Mosh Posh.

A day with my boys

What a fun and wonderful time I had with Benjy and Camden today. Yes, Camden had strep throat, and so he was home getting un-contagious today. But his day of recuperation turned out to be such a blessing for us all, especially after yesterday when the both of them felt lousy and I was a huge grump. Here's what you get when you combine one gingerbread house kit, two small boys, and one rainy afternoon.

At Random - 10 points of my day

1 - Camden has strep throat.
2 - I can't seem to get the smell of Ellie's pee out of my carpet. uggghhhhh1
3 - I miss Curt. And the boys do, too. Benjy calls for him throughout the day. Camden says he doesn't like his job anymore. I try to be patient.
4 - There were these stupid ants on my front door tonight. I'm sure someone left sticky fingers on it yesterday....
5 - While I hated to miss work today - and again tomorrow as I'll be home with my sick child - I plan to use the day to catch up on some craft projects for Christmas presents.
6 - I've been short-tempered today. I need to take time to be thankful for my blessings. Every day, after all, is a day to be thankful. Thank you, God, for my family, for my home, for the people that surround me with love.
7 - I did get some serious Christmas shopping done today while sipping coffee and reclining in Curt's chair. :) Ho Ho Ho!
8 - I didn't scrapbook one iota today.
9 - I want to scrapbook tomorrow!!!!!!! I need to make some small calendars for the templates I made on my 'puter tonight.
10 - I made this awesome Christmas collage today for the boys to count down the days till Christmas. Here's the link: Countdown to Christmas

Art - from my perspective

This is what happens when your two year old discovers the colored toothpicks. He was supposed to be eating cake, but instead he was creating a masterpiece. Benjamin was so intent on placing the toothpicks in his piece of cake that he entirely forgot to eat it! I love the colors here. Mom even appreciated his work, even though it meant the end of her toothpicks!

We made it back today - leaving at 9:30 and arriving home at 4:30. That includes about an hour of stops. The boys were such good travelers today. They watched movie after movie and fussed very little. The girls were quiet, too, causing us to worry that they were even OK. They were great. :)

I am so glad we went home this weekend. It was just the perfect visit. Grandmomma knew who I was and was so happy to see me. I was happy to see her, too. Her pierced ears are just too much! She had her pearls, and she looked like a queen. :) She was sort of jerky, but she knew who the people were in the pictures I showed her, and she seemed to recall many things about her day. On the second visit, however, she wasn't as aware of her surroundings. She seemed rather out of it, mumbling some incoherent thoughts in between her more thoughtful sayings. She did sing for me, though. "What a friend we have in Jesus," she sang. She sang it so fast I couldn't make out her lyrics, but she seemed pleased with herself. This woman wouldn't have sung out loud for all the money on earth when I was growing up. Maybe this is a blessing, her Alzheimers. She's able to let go and be herself. God does work in mysterious ways.

Well, it's good to be home. Curt goes back to Florida tomorrow. The boys and I are as ready as we can be. We've decorated the inside for Christmas. Tomorrow we'll tackle the outside. I need to get some last-minute Christmas shopping done and help Camden with his Santa letter. I also want to get some more scrapbooking done as well as some ebay pieces. And last but certainly not least, I want us to get to church tomorrow for the first Sunday of Advent.

Art - from my perspective

This is what happens when your two year old discovers the colored toothpicks. He was supposed to be eating cake, but instead he was creating a masterpiece. Benjamin was so intent on placing the toothpicks in his piece of cake that he entirely forgot to eat it! I love the colors here. Mom even appreciated his work, even though it meant the end of her toothpicks!

We made it back today - leaving at 9:30 and arriving home at 4:30. That includes about an hour of stops. The boys were such good travelers today. They watched movie after movie and fussed very little. The girls were quiet, too, causing us to worry that they were even OK. They were great. :)

I am so glad we went home this weekend. It was just the perfect visit. Grandmomma knew who I was and was so happy to see me. I was happy to see her, too. Her pierced ears are just too much! She had her pearls, and she looked like a queen. :) She was sort of jerky, but she knew who the people were in the pictures I showed her, and she seemed to recall many things about her day. On the second visit, however, she wasn't as aware of her surroundings. She seemed rather out of it, mumbling some incoherent thoughts in between her more thoughtful sayings. She did sing for me, though. "What a friend we have in Jesus," she sang. She sang it so fast I couldn't make out her lyrics, but she seemed pleased with herself. This woman wouldn't have sung out loud for all the money on earth when I was growing up. Maybe this is a blessing, her Alzheimers. She's able to let go and be herself. God does work in mysterious ways.

Well, it's good to be home. Curt goes back to Florida tomorrow. The boys and I are as ready as we can be. We've decorated the inside for Christmas. Tomorrow we'll tackle the outside. I need to get some last-minute Christmas shopping done and help Camden with his Santa letter. I also want to get some more scrapbooking done as well as some ebay pieces. And last but certainly not least, I want us to get to church tomorrow for the first Sunday of Advent.

Black Friday

I think this is the first time in eons that I've been shopping on Black Friday. I absolutely hate, detest, abhor holiday shopping on the day after Thanksgiving. Until today, that is. Mom and I hung out all afternoon and had the best time. We started off at Big Lots, which was a colossal disappointment since it's slated to close and was out of nearly everything. Then we moved on to her favorite gift shop. And now it's my favorite, too! It's just so dang packed with everything I LOVE - that primitive country look, pictures, candles, SHEEP! Mom bought me this gorgeous candle warmer made of speckled blue ceramic and some caramel corn tarts to heat up. They smell so yummy, I can't wait to get home tomorrow and plug that thing up. Then we moved on to Roma's, our favorite restaurant, for Italian and breadsticks. Our tummies full, we stumbled on another little primitive country store, bought a few more things, and then headed up to Phyl's to check out their toys and Christmas decorations. Again, we couldn't resist the lure of the sales! We finished our shopping at Peebles, the ONLY chain store we visited. And again, we struck gold! Mom got the boys the cutest stuffed animals, and they loved them to pieces when she gave them to them tonight. So sweet. :) I just can't say how wonderful this day was. Not just because of all our bargains, but because of the time we had together looking at the beautiful ornaments, talking about things we love and things that annoy us, eating peacefully, and just being happy to be in the same place for a change. Yes, I've missed my mom. It was good to be home again.

Humpday Wednesday

I have always called Wednesday Humpday. It's the middle of the week. You're half-way through and it and half-way to the weekend. Well, this is the best of Humpdays. It's really the weekend already! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and we leave for Mom and Dad's in the morning. The boys are psyched to ride in Curt's rental SUV for 8 hours. (I don't think they totally understand what a long ride they're in for....) And I'm just so darn happy to be going home. There's truly no place like home.

I read this on another scrapbooker's blog - Tia Bennet's. She's an awesome scrapbooker who's on the 3 Scrappy Boys message board and also on the Mosh-Posh board. I know she's on the Mosh-Posh design team and I think she's on the 3 Scrappy Boys team. Anywho, she's got super talent, and I'd give my right hand to have it. Of course, then I wouldn't be able to use it because I'm right handed!!!

Tag

2 Names you go by
Wendi. Mom.

2 Parts of your heritage
Irish, teeny teeny teeny part Cherokee

2 Things that scare you
elevators, interstate roads

2 of your everyday essentials
email, prayer.

2 Things you are wearing right now
pajama bottoms, long-sleeved T shirt.

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment)
Dave Matthews Band, David Gray

2 favorite songs at the moment
Wonderful World (Louie Armstrong), Beast of Burden (Stones).

2 Things you want in a relationship (other than real love)
humor, honesty.

2 Truths
My kids keep me young. My kids make me old.

2 Physical things that appeal to you in the opposite sex
humor, dark hair.

2 of your favorite hobbies
scrapbooking, buying scrapbooking papers.

2 Things you want really badly
no more hunger for anybody, peace.

2 Places you want to go on vacation
italy. england.

2 Things you want to do before you die
Tour ancient Rome, see my kids grown up, settled, and happy.

2 Ways that you are stereotypically a chick
I don't go out without washing my hair, shoes are important.

2 Things you are thinking about now
That cookie was good, the movie's too loud.

2 Stores where you shop
target, Amazon.com.

2 People you would like to see take this quiz
My mom and my sister -hint hint hint hint

Monday Misery and a few things to be thankful for

Although I am thankful for so much - especially this week - I am digging myself a hole of misery today and I'm ready to jump in and just wallow for a bit. If I had Barry Manilow on my iPod, I'd listen to him in my mud hole.

I write the songs that make the whole world sing.
I write the songs of love and special things.
I write the songs that make the young girls cry.
I write the songs, I write the songs.

Why the pity party? I got a flu shot today. I wanted it. I begged for it. I wanted one last year, too, but the shortage nixed that. I got the flu last year, too. And I was even more miserable than I am now. So, I wanted that flu shot today. And I got it. Now I feel like I have the flu. That's why I'm feeling miserable. Not too miserable to blog, but miserable enough to feel lousy doing it. (And yet, I do feel a slight bit of satisfaction at knowing I did it in spite of myself. :) )

And now, on to better things:

Tomorrow is the release date for "The Polar Express" movie. Camden and I went to see it last year before Christmas - beautiful film! Of course I'll be at the Shop N Save bright and early tomorrow buying my own DVD of it because I cannot live without it and I wouldn't dream of depriving my kids of it.


We're going home for Thanksgiving!!! I was so homesick tonight (on top of the "flu") so I called Curt and told him about it. He wants me to be happy, so we're going home! How sweet is that?! We'll just hang out here on Wednesday night after he gets in. Then on Thanksgiving morning we'll hit the road. The boys will watch movies all the way home - that Polar Express will be quite timely, huh? And Curt and I can just be together. It's a seven hour drive, which I'm not looking forward, too. But my little family will be together.

I cannot wait to see Mom and Dad. It's been since June - too long. And I'll get to see Grandmomma, too. She may not even realize I'm there, but it'll mean a lot to me and Mom. And that matters. Plus, maybe we can squeeze in a trip to the Norton Big Lots before it closes!

Sunday Haiku

This rose so perfect
from my son cute and sweet
brought a smile to me

Benjy gave me this gorgeous rose at his Tea Party at KinderCare last week. So sweet! He didn't participate with the singing and dancing since I was there, but he did enjoy sitting at the table and eating with me and his other friends as well as their moms. The little turkey stole my cookie!

I've been neglectful in blogging this week. With Curt in Florida, I'm just too pooped to care once the kids are in bed. I'm not too pooped to play around at 3 Scrappy Boys, though, where I'm playing Fall Bingo with the girls and chatting about scrapbooking and just about anything else. Shame on me. I should blog first! :)

Curt comes home on Wednesday for Thanksgiving. The boys cannot wait. Yesterday Benjamin heard the garage door going up and he screamed "DADDY!" But it was Camden. He seems to understand that Daddy will be home soon. I know Camden misses him terribly. Camden and Dad are buds, playing Star Wars together, going to Lowe's, and just goofing around. They're both goofy, let me tell you! It will be nice to be all back together for a few days. Then, on Sunday, he'll return to Florida for another couple of weeks. Then back home for a break! Then, back to Fla. before coming home for Christmas. Hopefully that'll end CAT duty this year. I'm sick of hurricanes. And yet, I shouldn't feel so selfish. I am blessed to have a home, family, and everything I need within reach. (Except Curt) Some have absolutely nothing left. So, God, please help me to be more thankful for the blessings I have each day. And please bless those who have lost everything. Give us all the strength to deal with whatever hurdles life throws us. Give our leaders the conviction to do the right things. And give our children the spirit to weather it all. Amen

Scrapbooking - the Big Picture

I'm going to write my scrapbooking mission statement here. I admit that this sounded a bit hokie at first, but now I think this is going to be a great opportunity to learn more about me and my favorite craft. Check out http://www.bigpicturescrapbooking.com/ to learn more about this wonderful hobby-turned therapy!

I am a happy person, inspired by God, my husband, motherhood, family, friends, children and animals. I also am a teacher to children and a supporter of their teachers, working to meet the needs of children. My devotion to the relationships in my life leads me to scrapbook the random and purposeful moments we live. These are the things about which I am passionate. I want them to count. So I make pages, albums, cards, and gifts for my family and friends. I sell premade pages and albums for others to enjoy. And I fill our family albums with the stories that make us who we are, the big ones, the happy ones, the sad ones, and the tiniest ones that would disappear if they weren't written down. I've learned that every one of these moments counts. For me it's a creative force that feeds my brain and soul. For my family, it's leafing through albums and remembering who we are and what we're all about. For strangers who buy my work, it's a chance to hold onto their own stories. These are the things that are too special to lose. They will always count for me.

Grandmomma

I've been missing my grandmother lately. Although I've lived away from home for 15 years, I am just now starting to feel the the emptiness that being away from family can bring. I don't want to take them for granted, and yet I fear that I have.

Grandmomma isn't the same lady that I remember. She doesn't live in the same apartment or wear the same clothes. She doesn't have the same smell or say the same old things - like "love ya bushels, Wendijack!" Her new address is a skilled nursing floor at the local hospital back home. She spends her days resting in her bed or sitting up in her chair watching people go by, listening to the groans of old people further gone than she, thinking about eating sweets ( which she used to despise). Yes, she's changed. Mom says that every now and then there's a flash of the old grandmomma, then she sort of glazes over and is gone again for a while.

The old grandmomma loved fried chicken. The new one loves pizza.
The old grandmomma loved going to church. The new one is afraid to go anywhere.
The old grandmomma loved to wear makeup and have new clothes. The new one doesn't care.
The old grandmomma never sang the hymns aloud in church, though I'm sure she knew most by heart. The new one belts them out when they have church services on the "floor" as they call it.
The old grandmomma told us of every little move she made: "Barbara, I'm going to the bathroom if you try to call." The new one has to have somebody take her to the bathroom.
The old grandmomma never cursed a day in her life. The new one - well, let's just say her vocabulary is a bit more colorful now.
The old grandmomma never failed to send a dollar to me or Michelle on the occassion of the other's birthday. The new one doesn't know how old we are. Sometimes she doesn't know who my children are either.

But I truly believe that the new grandmomma has a purpose or else she'd be gone by now. Only God knows what that purpose is. This new grandmomma may be different, but she's still my grandmomma. And somewhere, deep down inside, I know she remembers holds onto the very core of what made her my Grandmomma. I loved her then, and I love her now. I wish I could tell her that in person.

On Starfighters and God

Sunday Haiku

Starfighter - 3 hours
396 bricks
a devoted dad

Curt built this Lego number for Camden the night before he left for CAT duty. He set it up in his room so that Camden would see it when he woke up the next morning. He came bounding into my room at sunrise, grinning ear-to-ear. "Mommy, look what Daddy did!" I asked him what he did when he saw it. "I smiled," he said. The Arc Starfirghter is now a series of several smaller Camden-divined space ships. I knew it wouldn't last, but the thrill he had in seeing it that one (and only!) time, and the imagination he puts into making new models with these 396 bricks, are what counts.

Incidentally, here's a peek at what's going on in Camden's mind tonight:
"Mommy, is God married?"
"Well, maybe the angels are his loves."
"I bet God is sad that I have a headache."
"Did God steal Jesus from Mary and Joseph? Were they mean to him?"
"So God is Jesus' father."
"I want to be God's brother."

Big Honkin M&Ms

Have you had these yet? These M&Ms are so huge! (Hey, size matters, they say!) I mean, they're crunchy - lots of crisp candy coating, and extra chocolatey. They're the size of peanut M&Ms, but without the peanuts. Man, I can't quit eating these things!

I'll be eating a lot of these pups for the next 6 weeks. Curt just got word that he's off on CAT duty till Christmas. He'll be home for the holidays, but that's about it. There are some big things he'll miss this year, and I know he'll be sad about that - the church Christmas pageant that I'm hoping Camden can participate in, Benjy's amazing progress with his speech, finding the perfect Christmas tree (I'm going artificial this year - ouch!), driving around to see the lights around town. And there are the more mundane things I take for granted every day - saying grace before dinner, reading the boys a story before bedtime, going to church together on Sundays, playing PlayStation with Camden (I certainly can't help with that!). Thank goodness for good neighbors, our church, and work. They'll all keep me sane in the next few weeks.

Miracle of Star Wars

Camden is so amazing. He could sit for HOURS and play with his Lego Star Wars pieces. Yes, originally, they fit together to make the snow walker and something that Darth Vader rode around in. Now, they make anything that his mind can conjure. And it's always quite elaborate. There was a time when I didn't think he'd ever enjoy his Lego blocks. Not so now. He's a Star Wars boy all the way. My Punkin Head has, indeed, found the dark side. And we love it.

Arrrrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof

Emmalemmalimabean. That's what I call Emma. She's a mix of beagle and shepherd. She's a mutt. And you should hear her bark - arrrooooooooooooooooooooooof. She most definitely has that hound dog howl. Let me tell you about Emma's top ten quirks:
1. begging, no - scavenging - for food, even though she's a well-fed mutt
2. howling when she wants attention
3. licking people
4. eating Camden's Lego parts
5. shedding
6. climbing furniture like a billy goat
7. stealing dirty diapers to chew under our bed
8. escaping from the most impossible of places
9. Daddy's girl
10. Naughty - we call her the "naughty naughty bad dog" for a reason (see the top 10 quirks and you'll know why)

Sunday Haiku

Mamaw and Papaw
come to town. They bring us love.
And we love them back.

The power of words

He may not have many, and the articulation may be off a bit, but the words Benjy says are getting noticed. Here's what he's saying:
hi
bye
uh-oh
mama
dada
caca (Camden)
up
down
beep
car
truck
go
papa
more
thank you
please
no
yes
juice
milk
meow
woof
moo
boo
boy
cake
cookie
brownie
moon
Debi
choo choo
circle
purple

Well, I feel sure there are more, but that's all I can come up with for now. I'll top the list off on another night.

Trick or Treat

Camden's sixth Trick or Treat night was last night. He, as Darth Vader, and Benjamin, as Cowboy Woody, met the other neighborhood kids down the street at 6 o'clock for their version of a Halloween parade. So cute! Then the adults, who were manning the table with adult food and drink, chatted and followed the kids around as they took on the circle for as many treats as they could get. We made the entire loop and returned with pumpkins weighing the kids down and tired feet. But the kids were so happy.

I've NEVER seen Benjy so delighted in a group as he was last night. For a kid who frequently plays on the periphery, he was thick in the middle of this gang. One little girl took him under her wing, carrying him around, wrestling with him, making him hee-haw with delight. This was truly a sight to see. :)

And Camden was so, well, big. He tried hard to get away a few times, caught up in the moment of roaming from house to house, going with the flow of the other kids. I did hold him back, hoping he'd stick nearer to me and Benjy. He did, with minimal fuss. I suppose next year he'll be old enough to hang with the other kids and other parents, and he'll go on ahead of me and the B. Sniff sniff. This may well have been his last year sidled with his momma for Halloween!

Now comes the task of putting up all the Halloween decorations and preparing for Thanksgiving. It's possible that Curt will have to go to Florida for CAT duty soon. Bummer. But if he goes now, at least he'd be back by Christmas. That's what really counts. Sure, Thanksgiving is special, but Christmas is the biggie in our family.