Wendi {at random}

Today was our first Christmas without Michelle. And though we were richly blessed this Christmas, there was still a giant hole she used to fill. This is a shot she took of Mom and Dad's tree last Christmas. Her last visit home.

This was our last family picture, taken in October 2007 at Aunt Sandy's in Virginia. We were gathered for cousin Tonya's wedding, and it was a perfectly wonderful weekend. I found this long-lost picture on a link she had sent me to her Kodak gallery album. There are, like, more than a thousand pix on this, many of which are copies and crops of other pictures. I'm gonna order the copies of this photo that I promised my family I'd get them, oh, about 8 months ago or so....

Who's the chick with the skinny legs? Oh, that's ME?! I had no idea. My legs are like chicken lately. Pasty. Flabby. Cellulite-y. Yes. That's a real word now. There's not enough taekwondo in the world to take care of this job. I need to start counting points. (New Year's resolution, OK?) By the way, because it's totally relevant to the convo at hand... Santa brought me not one, but two RED Jhang Bongs for Christmas. Oh yeah, Baby! I'm armed and dangerous! (I have no idea if I spelled that right.)

See that sweatshirt Shell's wearing here? Mom passed it on to me, and I gave it to Camden. That child loves to wear this shirt. He's so proud to have a little bit of Aunt Shell in his possession.

Benjy talks of Aunt Shell a lot. Especially when he's tired. That's when he turns into Angel Benjy and seems to have thoughts and prayers for people he hasn't mentioned all day long. Serious stuff, too. He loves to talk about Aunt Shell having a picnic with Ellie, our faithful, loyal beyond belief, black lab mutt who passed away a couple of years ago. Aunt Shell loved Ellie. But Emma, I do believe, was her favorite. "Helmet Head," she called her. It must have been her ears. I think she felt sorry for her because she was second. Shell was second. Did I tell you that?

When Shell and I were kids we used to take the presents out from under the tree every night in the days leading up to Christmas. We would sort them according to the recipient, count them ~ because, hey, we had to be even, and rearrange them under the tree. A new arrangement every night. Mom never minded. It's just what we did. And so when Camden took to dragging presents out from their nest this year, I just smiled and let him. It's in his genes.

Michelle and Brian didn't have any children of their own. Here she is with her dog, Smokey or Abbie, I am sad to say I'm not sure which. And she's snuggling a new baby. It may be Baby Tatiana. I remember her talking a lot of her. But she had so many friends and family with children. And she loved them all so deeply, as if they were her own. She was so amazing like that.

Shell and Brian didn't have any human children. They had a menagerie of pets. Two wiener dogs and a whole passel of cats. I don't like cats, so I cannot pretend to remember their names. I think they were Ricky, Tigger, and somethingorother.

This is Michelle and cousin Tonya. Tonya and her new hubby Jeff drove all the way from Richmond last Christmastime to visit Mom and Dad and Shell. It was a blessed time. Dad was about to begin his cancer treatments and it would be a drag from that day on till he was in the clear. So he was relatively healthy - stronger and alert. This visit from family would be her last. We had no idea.

I'm not sure of the date here, but I'm assuming it was around summer-fall. Brian, her husband of 8 years, is with her and Mom and Grandmomma.  He was Shell's soulmate for true. We love you, Brian. 

Here are the two mates on their first real grown-up vacation since their honeymoon. They went to the Cayman Islands in early December of 2008. Right before she came home for the last time. Did she know this was her last vacation? Did she know she would come home one last time? I wonder these things often. I'll find out one day. But at least for now, I'm at peace knowing she's at peace with Jesus. 

She's a little hot tomale, no? I loved her so dearly. Even if my Barbies were better than her Sunshine Family.  

And I miss her dearly. I miss her phone calls. I miss her handwriting on her cards and letters. Even if they were always late. (it's a sister thing)

I miss her big heart, her love, her graciousness, and her voice. But I am at peace, thanks be to God, because I know where she is now and I am confident that my family and I will see her on the other side. 

Merry Christmas, Shell. 

I love you.