My kids like to watch this show on Netflix -- Finding Bigfoot. I think it's utterly ridiculous. A bunch of crock. A noisy little bit of fiction that makes me cringe. People really believe this? (My faith in American TV viewers is at an all-time low since learning this summer that there is an actual television show that comes on actual television called Naked and Afraid. I'm not even gonna link it here. You are way too intelligent to check it out.)
So, my boys tune into this Bigfoot search periodically and I'm left to my own business of dusting furniture or grading papers or trying to read the Rick Bragg column in the back of Southern Living as a Chewbacca soundtrack plays in the background. Over and over and over and over again. Bigfoot and Chewbacca are apparently close cousins.
So, yeah, it's annoying on many levels.
But then we went home to Norton, Virginia, last fall to bury my mom. And for once in a million moons, I was there when the Home Hardware was open.
(They used to be open on Saturdays. When they decided to close years ago, they warned my Uncle Mitchell, a Home Hardware regular, that they'd be closed that Saturday morning. He showed up with homemade biscuits and gravy for his friends anyway. They didn't get any. They were closed of course. Rocked his world, I tell you.)
Home Hardware is more than just a hardware store. It's more like a department store that's a bit rough around the edges. From the porch rockers and chain saw carvings to the rotating bins of nails, screws, fasteners, and the sort, to the Red Rider wagons parked right beside about 20 crocks in various sizes in the front window festooned with Hokie flags and UT flags and Kentucky somewhere flags, it's a little something for everyone. I myself like to sniff the candles and check out the heft of the cast iron skillet collection. I also enjoy staring up at the tin ceiling.
But the real draw for me was the Woodbooger tee shirt collection. Piles and piles of tee shirts. Long sleeves. Short sleeves. Colors galore. Hoodies even! Squatch Watch shirts for everyone! One of the men working there struck up a conversation with me as I fondled the shirts. He told me how the Bigfoot people had come to town a couple of years back searching for, um, Bigfoot. The Woodbooger, he's called around these parts. They combed High Knob looking for the Woodbooger but never did find him. They even tried to lure him out of the woods with doughnuts. I think he said they had sprinkles. (If only they'd had Cab's doughnuts. They'd have found him for sure.)
He also told me that they'd ordered about 60 shirts initially, figuring they might sell them and make a little money. They sold out quickly, so Home Hardware ordered more. They even opened on a Saturday to sell them! Since that initial rush, they've topped 3,000 and they're still selling. (This was a year ago. I bet they're way over that amount now.) We bought one for each of us and a couple for our friends who loaned us their truck for the weekend. Currently, I'm thinking Christmas presents for everyone on my list!
And now I have to confess that I'm almost a believer. Well, a believer in the Woodbooger. Bigfoot? Never. But this Woodbooger? Well, the proof is right on Home Hardware's Facebook page. Wouldn't you believe?
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