Wendi {at random}

Did I ever tell you that I had this closet obsession with Eminem when I was incubating Benjy? Yeah, I did. I was a bit embarrassed about it, so I kept this close to my chest. Then one day after jiving to school with The Real Slim Shady, I could hide it no more. I came out of the closet in the staff lounge during lunch. I was eating my daily peanut butter and jelly with a V-8 because not only was I with child, but also I was health conscious back in the day. Somebody mentioned John Mayer. Yeah, I like him, I agreed. And somebody mentioned the Rolling Stones. Duh, of course I like them. (Who doesn't?) Then a singer I'd never heard of. And another. And yet another. Not to be outdone, I squirmed in my seat and then let her rip.

"Youwon'tbelievethis,
butIlikeEminem."

I stabbed a grape in my fruit cocktail while the room grew silent. You could hear the 2nd graders in the lunchroom across the hall, but not a teacher spoke in our room.

"Well, I just like the beat. You know, the beat."

I sipped my V-8. Opened my Snack Pack chocolate pudding.

"You know, he does have a good beat. He's a talented musician," the music teacher offered.

Zing!
The music teacher thinks he has a good beat!
She thinks he's got talent!

But I knew better than to elaborate. I had regaled these teachers for months with my obsession with the Sopranos, and they probably feared that I was Tony's consigliere as it was. I didn't really wanna be rogue gangsta of Green Valley Elementary School.

Yeah, I couldn't help it. It must have been the hormones.

Due to the salacious, abhorrent, and indecent lyrics and content of Eminem's performance of Without Me, video is not posted. However, Without Me's beat is still notable.